Buying jewellery as a gift when you do not know their size

The sizing problem is the reason most people give up on jewellery as a gift and buy something else. It is a solvable problem, mostly by choosing the right category rather than by getting cleverer about guessing. Some jewellery has no size at all. Some has a size with so much tolerance that being wrong does not matter. And some, rings above all, has to be right. Here is the order of risk, and the ways round it that do not involve asking and spoiling the surprise.

The order of risk, lowest first

Earrings, hair pieces and brooches have no size. There is nothing to get wrong beyond style and weight, which is why they are the safe default and why so many gifted jewellery boxes contain earrings.

Pendants and necklaces have a size with real tolerance. A chain two centimetres longer than ideal hangs two centimetres lower and nobody can tell. Bracelets are tighter than that but most have an extender.

Chokers and rings are the two that have to be right. A choker is a measurement of the neck with almost no give, and a ring is a measurement of a finger to within about a millimetre and a half. Both are wonderful gifts when you know the number and expensive mistakes when you do not.

The questions that matter more than size

Metal colour. Most people wear silver tone or gold tone and not both, and they are usually consistent about it without ever having decided consciously. Look at what is on them in photographs. A gold piece given to somebody whose entire collection is silver goes in a drawer, correctly sized or not.

Posts or hooks. For earrings this is the question that decides whether they get worn. Some people only wear hooks, some only studs, and some have ears that will not tolerate one but are fine with the other. If you have never seen them in studs, do not buy studs.

Weight and scale. A heavy drop is not comfortable for everybody and a very small piece disappears on somebody who wears big jewellery. If every photograph shows substantial pieces, a delicate chain is a miss. Hollow and openwork designs weigh far less than they look, which is useful: something like Bat Wing Earrings reads as a statement without the weight of one.

Finding a ring size without asking

Borrow a ring they already wear and note which finger and which hand it comes from, because the two hands differ and every finger differs. Take it to a jeweller with a ring stick, which takes thirty seconds and costs nothing, or measure the inside with a drill bit shank or dowel that fits snugly and read that in millimetres.

If you cannot borrow one, trace the inside circle on paper with a sharp pencil and measure the circle you have drawn. It is cruder, and good to about a size, which may be enough to decide between a 6 and an 8 but not between a 7 and a 7 and a half.

What not to do: guess from hand size, which correlates loosely at best; use a ring from the wrong finger without saying so; or borrow a ring they wear daily and risk it. And remember the measurement is a snapshot. Fingers swell in heat and after exercise by close to a full size, so a reading taken from a ring they wear in summer is not the same as one taken in January.

If it has to be a ring anyway

Buy an open or wrap design, which has some tolerance built into the shape and can be eased slightly with your thumbs. The tolerance is finite and flexing metal repeatedly will eventually crack it, so this is a fit adjustment you make once, not a size range.

Or buy to the larger of two plausible sizes. A ring slightly too big spins and can be fixed with sizing beads or a sizing bar fitted by a jeweller for very little. A ring slightly too small cannot be worn at all until it is sized up, which is more work and more money.

Or give the choice rather than the ring. A small piece with no size in it, handed over with the offer to go and choose a ring together, is a better gift than a ring in the wrong size, and nobody has ever been offended by it.

Necklace lengths that work on almost anybody

Forty five centimetres, which is 18 inches and often sold as princess length, sits at or just below the collarbone on most adults and is the safest single length there is. Fifty centimetres is also very forgiving and reads slightly more relaxed. Anything at or under 41 centimetres is choker territory and needs a neck measurement.

A pendant on a chain is more forgiving than a fixed necklace design, because the pendant finds its own level and a few centimetres of chain either way just changes where it sits. A piece like The Cat in the Frame or the Spiderweb Pendant tolerates being slightly wrong in a way a collar never will.

If the person wears several necklaces at once, length becomes a feature rather than a risk, and a shorter or longer chain than their usual is often more useful to them than another one at the same length.

Practical matters at this end

We do not accept returns for change of mind or for a size chosen incorrectly, and that is worth knowing before you order rather than after. We do cover anything that arrives damaged, wrong, or later than the window on the product page, in full and without you posting anything back, within 30 days.

Order earlier than feels necessary. We do not hold stock, production starts after payment, and some pieces come from a long way away. The window is stated on each product page and it is the window to plan against, not the optimistic end of it. If a date is tight, email us before ordering and we will tell you honestly whether it will make it.

If you want help choosing, email us with what you know about the person and what you do not. We would rather spend ten minutes steering you towards a pair of earrings than sell you a ring that does not fit.

Questions people actually ask

What jewellery can I buy as a gift without knowing a size?

Earrings, hair pieces and brooches have no size at all. Pendants on chains have plenty of tolerance, since a couple of centimetres of chain either way is invisible. Chokers and rings are the two categories that have to be right, so avoid them unless you have the measurement.

What is the safest necklace length to give as a gift?

Forty five centimetres, or 18 inches, often sold as princess length. It sits at or just below the collarbone on most adults. Fifty centimetres is similarly forgiving. Anything 41 centimetres or shorter is a choker and needs an actual neck measurement.

How can I find out someone's ring size secretly?

Borrow a ring they already wear, note which finger and hand it came from, and have a jeweller measure it on a ring stick, which is free and takes seconds. Failing that, measure the inside with a snug fitting dowel or drill bit shank, or trace the inside circle on paper.