How to buy a gift for somebody whose size you do not know

Almost nobody knows another adult's size, and asking ruins the surprise, which is the whole problem. There are three honest ways out: buy something that has no size, work the size out from a garment they already own, or accept a known risk and size for it deliberately. Guessing between S, M and L from memory is not one of the three.

Start with the things that have no size at all

A surprising amount of what people want is sizeless. Bags, blankets, prints, paper, candles, anything cast in metal, almost all homeware. Buy in that half of a shop and the size question never comes up.

In our own catalogue that covers the brass animals, everything for a wall or a table, and the canvas bags. A printed tote fits everybody who has a shoulder.

A blanket is the most reliable garment-adjacent gift there is, because it is a garment that has given up on fitting anyone. If you are buying for somebody whose taste you know but whose body you do not, this is where to spend the money. Spend it on a better object rather than a riskier one.

One size is not the same as no size

Listings use the two phrases as though they mean the same thing. They do not. No size means the object has no body-dependent dimension. One size means the maker picked a single set of measurements and is hoping.

Gloves, rings, chokers and anything with a fixed circumference are one size, and one size excludes people at both ends. Rings are the worst offender: finger sizes vary by several millimetres of diameter across adults, and a ring that does not go on is not a gift, it is an errand.

Earrings and long-chain necklaces are the safe end of jewellery. Nothing about them depends on a measurement you would have to ask for.

If it has to be a garment, measure one they already own

This is the method that actually works, and it takes four minutes. Find a top of theirs that they wear a lot and that fits the way they like. Lay it flat on a table, smooth out the wrinkles, and measure it rather than them.

Three numbers do most of the work. Chest: measure straight across from one side seam to the other, about 2.5cm below the armhole, then double it. Body length: from the highest point of the shoulder, next to the collar, straight down to the hem. Shoulder: across the back from one shoulder seam to the other.

Now compare those numbers to the garment measurements in the size chart of the thing you are buying, not to the S, M, L label. Labels are a manufacturer's opinion. Centimetres are not.

Two halves of a shop can have two different size ladders

This catches people out constantly, including in our own shop. Our printed garments are made in the United States on standard blanks, and they fit the way a normal American tee or sweatshirt fits. Our sourced clothing comes from a supplier overseas and runs one to two sizes small.

That means somebody whose printed tee fits perfectly in a medium is quite likely to be a large or an extra large in a velvet dress from the same checkout. Every sourced piece carries that warning on its page, because it is the single most common way an order goes wrong.

If a shop does not tell you which of its lines run small, assume anything shipped from overseas runs at least one size smaller than the label suggests, and check the garment measurements rather than the letter.

When to size up, and when sizing up makes it worse

On a tee, a crewneck or any outerwear, size up. An oversized sweatshirt reads as a deliberate fit, and the recipient can wear it. A tight one reads as a comment on their body, and they cannot.

The exception is anything with a defined waist, a fitted bodice or a lace-up. Size up there and the shape collapses, the seams land in the wrong place and it looks like the wrong garment rather than a loose one.

Footwear is the case where sizing up is actively dangerous. A boot a half size too long rubs the heel, and a boot a half size too short cannot be fixed at all. Do not buy anybody boots as a surprise.

Price in the fact that you cannot send it back

We do not take returns, and plenty of made-to-order shops do not either. What we cover in full is an order that arrives damaged, wrong, or later than the window on the page. A size you chose and got wrong is not covered, because nothing was wrong with the item.

So the real question is not which size is most likely to be right. It is how much of the price you are willing to put on a guess. At that point a sizeless gift at the same money is simply the better bet, and a notebook or a cast object nobody has to try on is not a lesser present for being a safe one.

If you are determined to buy a garment, email the shop with the three measurements you took and ask them to read the supplier's own chart for that specific item. Any shop worth buying from will do it.

How to find out without asking

There are more routes than people assume. Hang their coat up for them and look at the label. Ask a mutual friend, a sibling or a partner, who almost always knows. Check what they have mentioned about a brand they already buy.

You can also hand the decision back without giving the game away. Sending two or three options and asking which they prefer is a normal thing to do in December, and nobody is surprised by it. Picking the item and letting them pick the size is a perfectly good compromise, and it is far better than a wrong guess wrapped nicely.

The one approach to avoid is asking them to guess their own size in a brand they have never worn, which is how most people end up with the wrong thing anyway. Give them the garment measurements in centimetres instead and they can check against something they own in four minutes.

Questions people actually ask

What is the safest clothing gift when you do not know somebody's size?

A bag, a blanket, a scarf or a hat. None of them has a body measurement that has to be right. If it must be a garment, a loose-fitting sweatshirt is the most forgiving option.

How do I work out somebody's t-shirt size without asking?

Measure a top they already wear and like, laid flat. Chest across the body 2.5cm below the armhole and doubled, plus body length from the high shoulder point. Compare those numbers to the size chart rather than to the letter on the label.

Is it better to buy a size too big or a size too small?

Too big, for anything loose: a tee, a sweatshirt or a coat. For fitted garments and boots, neither works, and you are better off buying something with no size at all.